Hey, watch it, man!
- Watch it! Get down. - Hey! What?
- What's the matter? - You're not gonna shoot me, are you?
Oh, don't worry. I didn't... I didn't really shoot him.
It's just a paint pellet. It's just a game.
- Shit! - Gotcha.
- I'm this close to gettin' away. - Right.
- Are you out of your mind? - Oh, no, really, it's just...
It's a bunch of us, we play. We hunt each other around campus.
- You stained me, ya jerk! - What?
- You just stained my sweater. - I'm sorry. Where?
Would you get away from me, okay?
Look, I-I'm sorry. I'll pay for the cleaning.
How can I make it up to you? I'll take you to dinner tonight.
I don't believe you.
You run around here playing Cowboys and Indians.
You smashed into me like a complete creep. You destroy my $60 sweater.
And you've got the balls to ask me to go out with you?
Yeah.
You are without a doubt the biggest asshole...
I have ever seen in my entire life.
Does that mean no?
Don't worry about it. Tonight's no good for me either.
Aw, damn!
- Gotcha. - Yeah, man.
Aah!
Gotcha.
- Muffy? - Yeah. Who are you?
Jonathan Moore. I'm in Professor Webster's class.
- Oh, yeah, hi! - I was... Hi!
I was just, uh, wondering if you were doing anything Saturday night.
Uh, no, I don't think so.
- Well, would you like to go out with me? - No.
But you just said you weren't doing anything.
Mm-hmm.
You mean you'd rather do nothing than go out with me?
Yeah.
- Jonathan, wait up! - Hey, Manolo.
You didn't wash the dishes this morning, again.
I didn't?
We're supposed to share housework, remember?
Jesus, Manolo, are you my roommate or my mother?
Hi, Manolo.
- Who was that? - I don't know.
You don't know?
- I almost got nailed this morning. - By who?
- Reilly. - Reilly? Reilly's a puss.
He ambushed me outside of Haines Hall. I didn't even have my gun.
- So what did you do? - Hid in a bush, and he walked right by me.
You're a regular James Bond, man.
Yeah, except James Bond had Pussy Galore. I can't even get a date.
Ordinarily, we don't... we don't get this type of specimen in an undergraduate class,
but I wanted to give you something to remember over Spring Break.
Now, when we have a sick cat like Tony here,
He's gotta be tranquilized...
in order to do the examination.
Now, the name of the tranquilizer solution is...
Sernylan,
which I understand is very popular at your parties.
- That's why we keep it locked up here. - She told me...
she would rather sit at home and do nothing than go out with me.
What's wrong with me, man?
- You're too negative, man. - Negative? What's negative about,
"Will you go out with me?"
The way you say something is just as important as what you say.
Now, this is where the tranquilizer gun...
And darts... come into play.
You gotta control the situation. You can't say,
"Uh, will you go out with me? Huh? Please?"
Like you've never gone out in your life.
You just look 'em in the eye and you say,
"What time should I pick ya up?"
...insert a dart...
When we go to Paris,
you gotta let those Frenchwomen know that you've got your act together.
Always point the gun away from the head and towards the lower flank.
Go ahead. Make my day.
I don't know, Manolo, I think it's hopeless.
I'm never gonna get laid!
Although that thought may be of great comfort...
to the women of the world, Mr. Moore,
as a future veterinarian, you should know that...
every dog eventually has his day.
I mean, you just walk up to her and you say, "I would kill or die to make love to you?"
No. Geez, no. You gotta have eye contact first.
You look, she looks, then you say it.
Don't say it like it's dirty.
Say it from the heart.
Then it ain't dirty, it's passion.
You goin' back to the apartment?
Nah, I gotta go to my folks' house.
Your dad still givin' you a hard time about goin' to Europe?
You kidding? He "loves" the idea.
- It's out of the question. - Why?
We've been through this a hundred times.!
Europe costs a fortune.
Dad, I told you, I'm getting a special deal through school.
- Jonathan. - Oh, thanks, Rosario.
You're welcome, Jonathan.
Look, it's part of my education. You want me to get an eduction, don't you?
When school's in session, you get an education.
When it's not in session, you get a job!
- Mom... - Don't say "Mom."
Al...
Don't say "Al." He says "Mom," you say "Al,"
and the whole thing comes out of my pocket.
You're gonna learn a hell of a lot more workin' in the real world...
than you will chasin' skirts around Pomona.
- Pamplona. - "Pamplona, Pomona..."
I don't care if it's Cleveland. You're not goin'. It's out of the question!
Why does it have to be either/or with you two?
You want to go to Europe, you want him to go to work.
- Why can't you do both? - Fine.
- Fine? It's not fine. Why is it fine?
Because it is.
It'll give him a chance to pull up his grades next quarter.
And just think. A week in "Paree" and he'll come back sounding just like, um...
Marcel Marceau.
Fantastic. Dad, can I borrow your camera?
It's not a camera, it's a Nikon. And it's out of the question.
- Mom? - Al.
Everybody is speaking French.
It's like a second language to these people.
E-Excuse me. You are American "boys-eh"?
- Yeah. - You want a taxi to Paris?
- No, thank you. It's too expensive. - No, no.
- We're gonna take the, uh, bus here. - No, no, no, no.
I make special price for you because you are American "boys-eh."
It's cheaper, faster, and much, much safer, hmm?
Come with me.
- Shall we go? - Why not? It's cheaper and faster...
And much, much safer!
- Jesus. - You boys are in a hurry?
Hurry? No, it's okay, you can take your time.
- Oh, man... - Bastard! Get out of my way!
Where'd you learn how to drive? East L.A.?
- Safer, huh? - Man, let me out of here.
- How much do we owe you? - Uh, 400 francs.
Four... Wh... I'm sorry, but the-the meter says 200.
Oh, yes. Two hundred for you, and two hundred for him. That's four hundred.
- Thank you. - Wh-What's that for?
- Uh, le service, the tip. Merci, au revoir - Service the tip?
You can't want a tip for that ride!
I think we just got ripped off, amigo.
It's because we're American "boys-eh."
This is the Champs-Elysee, man. Biggest shopping street in the world.
The Arc de Triomphe's up there. This is Paris.
Look at those Eiffel Towers. We're talkin' "eyeful" here.
What you doin'?
Excuse me, madam, I'd like to talk to you one minute.
I want you to meet my friend. His name is Jonathan.
- Jonathan, this is madam. - Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
- Quoi? - Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?
Oh, you asshole.
She likes you.
What'd she do that for? I just asked her out for dinner.
No, no, no. You asked her if she would like to go to bed with you tonight.
- I did? - I thought you took French.
I did take French. I mean, I can say,
"This is my pencil, my pencil is big," that kind of stuff.
Under the right circumstances, that could be useful.
Yeah?
Yeah.
We gotta find those circumstances, Manolo.
Thank you.
This is all in French, man. I can't understand this.
Ah, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
- Can you understand that? - Oui.
Manolo, look at this place. It's incredible!
It says here there are over 208,000 works of art.
And that's like Roman, Ancient Greek,
the Mona Lisa.
- "Venus de Milo's here." - Yeah, you mean the chick with no arms?
Yeah, that's the one.
I mean, this is the palace where the French kings lived before Versailles.
And then Napoleon turned it into the biggest museum in the world.
- What is your name? - Heidi.
I am Carlos, from Algeria. Have you heard of me?
- Isn't there a terrorist named Carlos? - Shh!
I need your help. I need you to walk with me to my hotel.
I cannot walk the streets of Paris alone.
- Will you help me? - I don't know...
Shh! Say no more.
I shall return.
- What's goin' on? - I'm in!
- You're in? - Her name is Heidi.
Heidi?
She's Swedish. We're goin' back to the hotel.
Manolo, how'd you do that so quickly?
Told her my name was Carlos, man, and I just got back from Algeria.
She thinks I'm a terrorist.
Swedish chicks go crazy for that shit.
So, give me two hours before you head back to the hotel.
Well, wait a second. Maybe she's got a girlfriend or something.
Hey, no offense, but uh... I'm a terrorist.
I can't be seen with somebody who looks like Bambi.
I don't look like Bambi.
Okay, so you don't look like Bambi.
Why don't you go check out the Eiffel Tower?
I already saw it.
See it again. Come on, gimme a break!
She's Swedish.
Hey... happy hunting, amigo.
- Monsieur? - Uh, do you parlez-vous English?
Un peu.
Uh, donnez-moi s'il vous plait, um,
Per-nodd.
- Du grand vin? - Donnez-moi, s'il vous plait...
I understand donnez-moi, and s'il vous plait,
I don't know what is, Per-nodd.
P-Per-nodd. Here. See.
Ah, Pair-noh.
- Pair-noh. - Monsieur wishes un Pernod.
Yes. Monsieur does wish...
Do you take Travelers Cheques?
- Pernod. - Merci.
- Avec de I'eau? - Victor who?
- With water? - Please!
"Pair-noh." Geez.
- Per-nodd. - Avec de I'eau!
Mon crayon est large.
- Pardon? - Mon crayon est large,
et bon crayon estjaune.
Your pencil is big and yellow?
- Oui! - Oh. Nice for you.
What a jerk.
Ahh!
Ahh! What the hell.
- Excusez-moi, madame. - I speak English.
Yeah? So do I.
- Yes? - Can I buy you a drink?
Well, I'm drinking coffee.
Drinking coffee. Yeah.
- You know, you are very beautiful. - I know.
Right, I just didn't want you to forget.
Excusez-moi, monsieur.
- I speak English. - May I sit with you?
Yeah. Please.
I was sitting over there, and...
suddenly you looked like cute little boy to me.
Little boy. Great.
- Oh, I like boys. - You do?
You are a... student?
Yeah, yeah, I'm a student. Excuse me.
I am graduate student.
- Oh, yeah? Where? - Berkeley. In the film school.
Oh, you, uh, you want to be a writer or director or something?
Or something.
You don't sound, uh, French. I mean you...
Where are you from?
Originally, I am from Czechoslovakia. Then Berlin.
And now, uh, America.
- Oh, yeah? - My name's Sasha Banicek.
- Sasha. - Um, Sasha, this is boy's name.
But it is like, how do you say?
- "Nig-name"? - Nickname.
- Nickname? Yes. - Yeah. Nickname.
My real name Alexis.
- What is your name? - I'm Jonathan. Jonathan Moore.
- I am, uh, 24. How old are you? - I'm, uh, 23.
- Really? - Yeah.
Oh, I would have thought you were about... 18.
Oh, no. No, I'm... I'm 23.
I like boys who are 17, 18.
I do not like hairy chests.
I like, uh, smooth skin.
And tight, 18-year-old bodies.
- I'm 18. - But you just said...
No, I-I know, I'm sorry. I lied. Look, I got a passport here.
It says I'm... I'm 18. Like, I can prove it.
- I got... - It is not necessary to show papers.
- Oh. - I believe you.
Stupid, huh?
You are a "weer-gin," yes?
- "Weer-gin?" I... - A "weer-gin."
You are not yet being with woman?
- Virgin! Me? - Yes.
No. Geez. No, God, l...
I've been with, you know, 30, 40, ya kinda lose track. Kinda.
I like, um, "virgins."
It is so exciting to me, to touch boy...
the way no woman ever touch him before.
It is a feeling of power.
I gotta be honest with you.
I am a "weer-gin." L... I, uh,
I've been close a couple times, but I-I've never actually...
Then, um, that is second lie, Jonathan.
Do not let there be a third.
I would kill or die to make love to you.
- That's not a lie. - I know.
- Hotel La Splendide, yes? - Uh, yes.
Don't take it literally.
I'll just, uh, check to see...
Yeah?
Remember Manolo, the guy I told you about? He's here.
So l... I'll just go talk to him, f... Relax, okay?
Do not be too long.
Right. All right.
- Hey, where's Heidi? - It's over.
Shh! What happened?
Chemistry wasn't there.
She wasn't Swedish! She was Swiss.
Listen. Could you help me out?
You have to take off for a little while.
- You got a girl? - Girl? I got a woman.
Her name is Sasha, and she's Czechoslovakian.
- Come on. - Czechoslovakian? Hey, wait a minute.
Don't rush. Does she have a friend?
Hey, no offense, amigo, but she likes guys who look like Bambi.
I mean, I can't be seen with Carlos the Terrorist.
Oh, man...
Why don't you check out the Eiffel Tower or something?
- I saw it already. - See it again.
You must be Manolo.
- You must be Sasha. - You must be going.
Mon crayon est large.
- This crayon? - That crayon, that's right.
Mm. You are beautiful lover.
Really? Was I, uh...
okay for you?
Mm, you were okay.
Oh, you were great.
'Cause I didn't really know what... I mean, what I was doing.
- Yes, I noticed. - You noticed.
Would you like me to teach you?
Well, if you've got the time... yeah.
We are so different, you and I.
You are so... American.
And you are so... Czechoslovakian.
So. I will teach you Europe.
And I will teach you America.
And I will teach you love.
This is Chateau Margaux.
It's very old. Very smooth.
You sip it slowly.
- That is Europe. Salud. - Cheers.
This is a root beer float.
It's cold and sweet.
It's smooth, yet effervescent.
You slurp it quickly. That is America.
- You "slurp"? - Slurp.
- What is "slurp?" - Slurp. You suck it.
All over the world, I have been accused...
of many terrible, terrible things.
But I am innocent, I tell you. Innocent.
In my country, I am considered a hero.
- A hero? - A hero.
There has been a change of plans.
We must go to your hotel.
- To my hotel? - Shh! Please. Say no more.
This is great.
I wish it did not have to end so quickly.
- What do you mean? - I am leaving tomorrow.
- Where? Where are you going? - Berlin.
- Berlin, why? - I told you this was working vacation.
I have business there.
- What kind of business? - Nothing very exciting.
Maybe you would go with me.
- To Berlin? - Yes, why not?
I'm supposed to go to Spain with Manolo.
Oh.
I mean, we got tickets and reservations and stuff.
No, I-I understand you.
Have to stay with your friend.
No, it-it's not just my friend, it's Spain.
I've been wanting to go there since I was a kid.
The Pyrenees and the Picasso Museum and...
bullfights, and Pamplona.
I mean, that's where Hemingway wrote his best stuff.
Jonathan, you do not have to explain to me.
You do not want to go, you do not want to go.
I didn't say I didn't want to go.
Did I say I didn't want to go?
I want to go. I'm going.
We're go... We're gone. We're outta here.
- Okay? - Good.
Oh, "gut, gut."
How's Paris, dear?
Paris is great, Ma. You don't have to yell.
- Are you learning French? - Yeah, yeah. Learning a lot.
Wonderful.
I just wanted to tell you that there's been a change in plans.
I'm not going to Spain. I met this real nice girl.
- And we're going to Berlin. - Berlin?
Jonathan, I don't think you want to go there, dear.
Oh, I'll be fine, Mom.
I just wanted to call and tell you what I was doing, okay?
I love you a lot. Okay, good-bye now.
Jonathan!
What have you been doing here?
Uh, learning about la grande passion, le grand amour.
What's that?
How would you feel about goin' on to Spain without me?
What do you mean?
Sasha. She uh, has to go to Berlin on business, and she really wants me to go with her.
- Berlin? - Yeah.
- You're kidding me. - No, what's wrong with Berlin?
Nothin'. If you like machine guns and barbed wire.
I thought you were all psyched on this Spain deal.
Yeah, I was, but, uh...
- I just want to spend more time with her. - I don't know, man.
- I think you're losing your perspective. - Why?
There are millions of girls in Spain.
I know there are millions of girls there, but, uh, Sasha's special.
She's special. They're all special.
- I think I'm in love with her. - You're in love with her.
I don't know if it's actually love, but...
whatever it is, it's-it's the most incredible thing I've ever felt.
Jonathan, you don't even know this girl.
You're gonna do fine in Spain without me. You don't want Bambi hangin' around.
I still think you're lettin' the little head do the thinkin' for the big head.
But hey, man... Go for it.
- You love this car? - I love this car. Oh, what is it?
- It's a... - I haven't seen one like this.
It's a German "Rent-a-Wreck."
- Yes, Banicek. - Mr. And Mrs. Banicek?
- Ja. - Yeah.Yeah.
Banicek, Banicek. Yes, one double room upstairs.
- With a big bed, yes? - With a big bed.
Gut. Gut.
Jonathan, you're getting very good.
- I had a good teacher. - Yes, I know that.
- So why don't we go to Spain? - Now?
No, when you're done with your business.
- When's that gonna be, anyway? - Tomorrow.
Then we go to East Berlin.
- East Berlin? - Mm-hmm.
Wait a second.
We're going to East Berlin?
- I tell you that, yes? - No, no, no, no.
- You didn't tell me that. - Oh, yes.
- Oh, no. - Mm. Well, I'm sorry, but...
that is where my business is.
Who has business in East Berlin?
- What are you, a spy or something? - Yes, I am spy.
No, I am like a messenger boy.
- A courier. - A courier.
- Well, what do you "couri"? - They do not tell me.
- Who's "they"? - They do not tell me.
I pick things up. I bring them across.
I give to man. He pay me.
I thought you were a graduate student.
Yes, I am, but with this job,
I make money to pay tuition.
I'm not having a rich father, you know.
- So you've done this a lot? - Many times.
You want me to go with you?
Please.
- How long is it gonna take? - Only one day.
We can even leave bags here.
- I don't know. - You are afraid to go?
No, I'm not "afraid" to go.
It just seems kinda dangerous to...
bring stuff across that you don't know what it is.
But you tell me you like danger.
Is that not what your game is all about?
- "Gotcha?" - Yeah, but that's just a game.
You will see.
This will be like game too.
You are leaving the American sector.
And entering the twilight zone.
- Everything will be okay. - Yeah, yeah.
There's only one entrance, huh? Nice gun.
- Why is that guy taking our pictures? - It's not unusual.
- I mean, we didn't even do anything. - Jonathan!
Halte!
Hey, look what you did to the car!
I don't "sprechen sie," sorry.
I-I was lookin' at the guy with the camera, and I-I didn't see.
- I... Jesus Christ! - What did you say?
I didn't say anything.
- Did you say a curse on me, maybe? - No, no. I-I didn't.
Show me your passport.
Will you look at me, please?
What is your purpose to visit the D.D.R.?
- Nothin'. - Nothin'?
- Nothin'. Tourists. - Tourists?
Well, then... welcome to the D.D.R.
Banicek?
Danke.
- Is he gonna give 'em back? - Ja.
So what's all this D.D.R. Stuff? I thought we were in East Berlin.
D.D.R. is East Berlin. It's East Germany.
Means, Deutsche Demokratische Republik.
Doesn't seem very "democratisch" to me.
I mean, that guard at the checkpoint. What an asshole!
Jonathan, these are not campus policemen here.
You do not talk back to them.
They are very suspicious of people from the West.
- Especially couriers? - Especially couriers.
- Danke. - Bitte.
So, when are you going to do your business?
- 12:00. - 12:00?
- Then we're out of here? - Then we're "out of here."
Then we're gonna go to Spain, right?
- Maybe. - What do you mean, "maybe"?
It's only fair. I came to East Berlin with you.
- You oughta come to Spain with me. - I would love to go.
I think you're a very... uh, amazing person.
I mean this... This last week...
Oh, it's been...
It's been very special to me.
Has been special for me too.
Well, what I'm really tryin' to say is...
that I love you.
Pretty dumb, huh?
No. Is not dumb.
Look at her.
The other one's gonna beat her!
I want to try.
- Okay. Break it. - Yippee!
Jonathan!
- You make smile. - Ha!
Ta-da!
There is something I have to tell you.
If you ever get message from me saying...
to meet me at the Cafe Friedrichstrasse,
I want you to leave East Berlin immediately.
Do not check out of hotel and do not try to find me.
Just go to checkpoint and back across.
Cafe Friedrichstrasse?
- You are hungry? - Yeah, I'm kind of hungry.
There is cafeteria inside. You wait for me?
- What are you doin'? - It's 12:00.
Oh, this is it, huh?
Be right back.
Bitte schon.
- Danke. - Bitte.
- Hello. - Hi.
What you are eating?
I'm not sure, but I wish it was a hamburger.
- So, did you do it? - Mm-hmm.
Here. Put this in your bag.
- You want me to carry it? - Please.
- What is it? - Strudel.
Strudel?
What's inside the strudel?
Apples, nuts, raisins... Strudel.
Strudel. Right.
It's hot in here.
Go back to the hotel?
Um, there is one more thing I have to do.
- You know butcher shop near hotel? - Uh, yeah.
You can meet me there in one hour.
- Bye. - Okay.
The name is Moore. Jonathan Moore.
How's it goin'?
Uh, no "sprechen sie." American.
What are you doing here?
You have great interest in butcher shop?
Yeah, it's a nice knockwurst.
Passport.
Here.
I'm just, uh, you know, waitin' for-for a friend.
Should be here anytime now.
- Jonathan Moore. - You don't need my name, do you?
I mean, I just... waiting for a girlfriend.
Uh, "meine fraulin"... "fraulein." Right?
Yeah.
- Deutsches fraulein. - No, American fraulein.
- Name? - Name. I...
Name. What is the girl's name?
Uh... Sasha Banicek.
Banicek?
That's not American! Czechoslovak.
The name's Czechoslovakian, but she's American.
See, she's kinda both.
- She's both? - Yeah.
- So. You will wait for a girlfriend. - Yeah.
- I also wait. - Oh, no, look.
I appreciate it, but you don't have to do that.
I mean, uh, you know, she's late already.
She probably won't even show up. So, uh...
You know how women are.
Think I'm just gonna get goin' myself.
Be talkin' to ya later. It's been good talkin' to ya. Keep in touch.
Excuse me.
Hello?
- Jonathan? Listen to me. - Yeah. Where are you?
Go to "S-Bahn" and take the train...
to Leninallee Station.
- And I will meet you there. - Leninallee Station. When?
Now.
- You okay? - Yes, I'm okay.
- Well, what's goin' on? Where you been? - I was being followed.
- But, um, I lost him. - You were being followed? By who?
I do not know. He's a Russian, I think.
Russian?
Oh, shit, 'cause when I was waitin' at that butcher shop for ya,
this policeman came up and started hassling me.
- I gave him your name. - It does not matter. We have what we came for.
- So we can get out of here? - Soon. I want you to go back to the hotel,
and I will meet you there in 45 minutes.
- No, no, no. I don't want to leave you. - Jonathan, please.
I know what I am doing.
Go back to hotel.
Soon we will be in Spain, you will see.
Forty-five minutes?
Hello?
- Jonathan? - Yeah? What the hell's goin' on?
- Meet me at the Cafe Friedrichstrasse. - What?
Meet me at the Cafe Friedrichstrasse.
Come on. Come on!
What? I'm sorry, I don't "sprechen sie."
What's wrong? Why are you running?
Oh, uh, nothing. Just a little exercise.
Go inside to customs.
Auf Wiedersehen.
Jonathan Moore?
Jon... Jonathan. Yeah.
What was the purpose of your visit to East Berlin?
N-No purpose. Uh, just to see it.
Tourist?
Yeah. Yeah. "Ja."
Do you always travel at such unusual hours of the night?
I just hate crowds.
You make a joke.
Well... not a good one.
Come with me.
Take off your rucksack. Put it on here.
Open it up.
- Take off your clothes. - Huh?
Go in there and take off your clothes.
Uh, th-that's all I got, really, so can I get dressed now?
Do you know that you are guilty of serious crime?
What-What are you talking about?
This is what I'm talking about.
It's forbidden to bring pornographic material into the D.D.R.
- That's not pornography. - Of course it is.
This pornographic material will be confiscated. Get dressed.
Your passport, please.
You have no visa for the D.D.R.
- What do you mean? That's my visa. - Your visa expired four hours ago.
- You have paid for only one day. - But I'm leaving the D.D.R. Now.
But you are in the D.D.R. You must have a visa for the additional day.
- Where do I get this visa? - Window two.
- Yes? - What?
- What do you want? - I... I want a visa, please.
- For how long? - For one day.
Jesus.
Danke.
Wait!
Why are you in such a hurry to leave the D.D.R.?
What do you mean?
Your change... from your visa.
- Danke. - Wiedersehen.
Come on. Come on.
Hey. How you doin'?
- Am I in West Berlin now? - You sure are.
Fuck you!
Good night.
I've been wantin' to do that for the last six months.
Now we're talkin'.
God bless America.
Bitte schon?
How 'bout a Whopper? No, make that a Double Whopper with American cheese.
And large American french fries,
and a great big American chocolate shake.
Okay?
No sauerkraut. No schnitzel.
- Moore residence. - Hello. Rosario, it's Jonathan.
- Uh, Jonathan no home. - No, no. This is Jonathan.
Uh, Jonathan no home. He's in, um... in Germany.
Rosario, it's me, Jonathan.
Ah, Jonathan. You sound so far away.
That's because I'm in Germany. Are my parents home?
Uh, no, your parents no home. Uh, they in Palm Springs.
Could you give 'em a message for me? Could you tell 'em I'm gonna be home soon?
Jonathan, your parents no home.
Yeah. Okay. Good talkin' to ya, Rosario. Take care. Adios.
Sorry. She hasn't checked in.
- Do I have any messages? - For Mr. Banicek?
- Uh, no. Actually, Mr. Moore. - Mr. Moore?
Yeah. Jonathan Moore.
Message toJonathan Moore.
"Meet me at the Zitadelle Spandau on the tower at 10:00 tomorrow morning."
"Love, Sasha."
Uh, what's the Zitadelle de Spandau?
It's an old fortress outside of Berlin on the road to Hamburg.
- I can take the bus there? - Yes, Mr. Banicek.
Okay. Thank you.
Holy shit.
Somebody broke into my room.
- Did you lock the door? - Yes, of course I locked my door.
Well, I'm sorry. You see the sign?
Yeah, I see it, but I don't understand it.
The hotel is not responsible.
But they got everything. All I've got is my passport, camera and plane ticket.
They took my Travelers Cheques.
- You cannot pay for the room? - I've got ten East German marks.
D.D.R. Money is no good here. You cannot pay, you cannot stay.
- You're kidding. - I'm not kidding.
- Come on. - What?
I don't know what you're sayin'.
- You American? - Yeah.
Come on. See beautiful girls. Stage show, live. Video.
No, no thank you.
For ten deutsche marks, you can see the most beautiful girls in the world.
- Let go of me! - Homo!
What?
Come on. Move along. No sleeping on public benches.
Jonathan?
- Jonathan Moore? - You know me?
I'm a friend of Sasha's.
Where is she? She's supposed to be here.
- I'm afraid she's in a little trouble. - What do you mean? What happened to her?
Look, if she's in trouble, you'd better tell me about it.
I think she will be all right, but you could help me make sure of it.
- How? What can I do? - She gave you something in East Berlin.
No, she didn't.
You don't have to lie to me, Jonathan.
I know she gave you something, and it's very important that you give it to me.
Why should I trust you?
Because I'm the only one who can help Sasha.
- What is this? - Strudel.
Strudel?
What's wrong? What are you doing?
Holy shit.
Oh, shit.
- Do you guys speak English? - You bet your ass, man.
- Can you give me a ride to the airport? - We're going to Hamburg. We got a gig!
- Is there an airport there? - Why are you so wet?
I just jumped into the moat at the Citadel.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, these Russians, they were chasin' me and they were shootin' at me.
They're tryin' to kill me. Can you help me out?
- Russians? - Far out.
- So let's go. Come on. - Go in.
Great. Thank you.
Danke schon.
- What's your name? - Uh, Jonathan.
- And where are you from? - California.
- Los Angeles? L.A? - L.A!
We love it! We love it! We love it!
L.A. That's really far out.
Hey, you know Bo Derek?
- Uh, no. - We watch "Dallas" all the time.
That J.R. is one bad dude.
Well, look, there are a couple of bad dudes that are chasing us right now.
Could we go faster, please?
What about Joan Collins? You ever see her?
- Uh, no. Sorry. - Hey, Jonathan. Got your papers ready?
Papers? What for?
D.D.R. Checkpoint in about ten kilometers.
I don't wanna go back to the D.D.R.
We're going to Hamburg, so we have to go through the D.D.R.
What if they're waiting for me at the checkpoint?
Be cool, Jonathan. Don't sweat it.
Thanks a lot, guys. You saved my life.
- Sure. - You want these back?
- Keep it. It looks good on you. - Okay.
- Victory Boulevard? - We love it!
- Santa Monica Boulevard? - We love it!
- Sixth Street? - We love it! We love it!
Good afternoon. Welcome to L.A. International Airport.
Passengers from Flight 497, Hamburg, please proceed to immigration...
then to baggage claim area, thank you.
Moore residence.
- Hi, Rosario. It's Jonathan. - Uh, Jonathan no home.
No, Rosario. It's me, Jonathan. Look, are my parents there?
Uh, no, they no home.
Uh, your mother... she play bridge. Your father play golf.
Well can you tell them that I'm home now and to give me a call, ok?
- In Germany? - No. My apartment.
You sound so close.
The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading...
of passengers only.
No parking.
Come on. Come on. Nice and easy.
The white zone is for immediate loading...
Sorry about the window, man. Send the bill to the Betas.
Can we have the football?
- Hello? - Hello, darling. It's Mom.
- Hi, Mom. - Well, how was Europe?
I'll never forget it.
Look, could I come over for dinner tonight?
Of course.
We wanna hear everything. Dinner's same time as usual, sweetheart.
Okay.
- Jonathan, you're home! - Can't fool you, can I, Rosario?
Mrs. Moore, Jonathan is home.
- Oh, darling. Welcome home. - Hi, Mom.
- We're so glad you're back. - Oh, so am I.
- But you look a little tired, dear. - I am a little.
Hey, Johnny boy! Good to see you.
You look great. How was the trip? Where's my camera?
It's good to see you too, Dad.
Oh, great. I thought for sure you lost it.
Oh, Al.
- You know he's only kidding. - Oh, God, this is great.
- Ohh. - You wanna talk about this?
Ah, Dad, I'm sorry. It was in my backpack when I jumped into the moat.
- You jumped into a moat? - You jumped into a moat with my Nikon?
Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I had to. L...
This is kind of a long story.
- I've got all night. - Can I come in?
- Sure. - 'Course, dear.
Don't tell me. Let me guess... This has to do with that girl, right?
- Yeah, it does. - You knocked her up, didn't you?
Oh, Jonathan!
Leave it to you to find the one girl who isn't on the pill.
- No, no, no. You guys are totally wrong. - You didn't knock her up?
- No. - You're flunking out of school?
No, I'm not flunking out.
What is it? Drugs? You're involved with drugs?
No, Dad. I'm not involved with drugs. Please just listen.
I told you about the girl I met in Paris, Sasha.
Everything was going along okay. We were having a great time.
- I'll bet. - Will you let him finish?
Finish.
Well, she told me she was a courier and she had to pick something up.
- So we went to East Berlin. - East Berlin?
- Oh, my God. - No. Everything was okay there too.
Sasha made her pickup, and she gave me the strudel.
Then this Russian guy started following her,
so she called and told me to meet her at the Cafe Friedrichstrasse,
which really meant that I was supposed to get out of East Berlin.
So I go to the checkpoint with the strudel, and I get strip-searched.
- Strip-searched? - It's okay. I made it through.
But then I go back to the hotel, and somebody'd stolen all my stuff out of the room,
so I had to stay out all night.
The next morning at the Citadel, Sasha wasn't there.
This lady showed up, and she wanted the strudel.
Why did the lady want the strudel?
She didn't, but I didn't know that.
So I gave it to her, and they shot her.
- They shot her? - Who shot her?
I don't know, but they almost got me too. That's why I jumped into the moat.
They shot her for a strudel?
No, not for the strudel.
For this.
What's that?
- It's a roll of film. - What's on it?
- I don't know. - Why don't you get it developed?
Dad, are you kidding? I can't just take this down to Fotomat. It's got spy shit on it.
"Spy shit?" Okay, he's on drugs.
I am not on drugs!
Sweetheart, it's going to be all right. We have counseling programs for this.
And whatever it costs, we don't care.
You guys don't believe me, do you?
This is not a game, son. This is your life.
You're right. I'm on drugs. I'm a junkie.
You know I mainline. I freebase. I put cocaine on my Corn Flakes.
As a matter of fact, I gotta go meet my connection.
- Jonathan! - You get back here.
You had to let him go to Europe!
- F.B.I. - Yeah, I wanna report a following.
- I beg your pardon? - A following.
I'm being followed by a Russian.
- Oh, is this a joke? - No, this is not a joke.
Now listen, I smuggled a roll of film out of East Berlin.
I still have it, and I want to get rid of it.
This guy just chased me down Pico Boulevard. He's in a gray Mercedes.
He's a K.G.B. Agent.
- And you are a spy of some sort? - No, I'm not a spy.
Do I sound like a spy? Look, I didn't know I was smuggling the film out.
My girlfriend... She planted it on me.
I'm sorry, sir, but the Bureau is precluded by law...
from becoming involved in cases of foreign espionage.
Listen, I have a roll of film that somebody was shot for, now what should I do?
Perhaps the C.I.A. Can help you.
- Well, do you have the C.I.A.'s number? - It's in the book.
I don't have a book. I'm in a phone booth.
Then I suggest you call information.
- Thank you. - You're welc...
Good evening, Central Intelligence Agency. May I help you?
Yeah, I need to come down there right away. What's your address?
- Langley, Virginia. - No, no. I mean, in L.A.
I'm sorry, sir. We cannot give out that information.
- What? - We cannot give out our address, sir.
I don't believe this. Is there at least somebody there I can talk to?
One moment, please.
Duty officer.
Yeah, my name is Jonathan Moore.
I'm not drunk, I'm not stoned and this isn't a crank call.
I gotta come down there right away, but your
operator... She won't give me your address.
What did you say your name was, again?
- Jonathan Moore. - And what's your problem Jonathan?
Put the phone down. Hurry!
Let me see your hands. Step outside the booth.
Over here. Put your hands behind your head.
What's going on here?
- Shut up. - That's him. I'll kill him!
That son of a bitch tried to wreck my car!
Relax, Mister Bronski. We'll handle this. You have the right to remain silent.
If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say...
can and will be used against you in a court of law.
- Dad, you gotta listen to me. - No, you gotta listen.
You know what you put your mother and me through tonight?
I'm at a police station at 4 in the morning, and she's popping Valiums like they're M&M's.
You know that guy Bronski? He's gonna sue you. No, he's gonna sue me.
I'm responsible. You know what your insurance rates are gonna be?
You know how much money this is gonna cost me?
- I thought he was chasin' me. - He was chasing you.
You ran him off the road. He wanted to kick your ass. I want to kick your ass.
I thought he was a K.G.B. From Russia.
- What? - I thought he was K.G.B. From Russia.
He's a C.P.A. From Encino. What are you, crazy?
- Yeah, maybe I am. - I know you're a good kid.
Just get yourself into a drug program, okay?
Yeah. Okay.
- What you got? - Nothin'.
- Johnson? - Nothin'.
Shit. Let's go.
The kid must have it on him.
Duty officer.
Yeah, this is Jonathan Moore. I talked to you last night, but we got cut off.
- Yes. - I really need your help.
I got this roll of film from this girl in East Berlin.
- I think it has spy stuff on it. - Uh-huh.
This morning, some guys trashed my apartment looking for it.
- Did they get it? - No, they didn't find it.
You should see this place. They went through everything.
Jonathan...
- We believe you. - You do?
Yes. The agency is going to help you.
Now, just stay where you are, and we'll send someone to get you.
No, I can't do that. I don't know who anybody is.
Anybody could come here and say they're the C.I.A. I gotta come to you.
All right. Calm down. Our address is 444 Flower Street, suite 700.
Now, do you have the film, or is it hidden somewhere?
No, I have it. But there's something else.
My girlfriend, Her name's Sasha Banicek, She's in trouble.
She's still in East Berlin.
Don't worry about her. We'll take care of everything.
- You're bringing the film with you, right? - Yeah, I'm on my way.
- All right. We'll see you.
He's coming in.
- Hi. - Hi.
I'm Jonathan Moore.
I'm supposed to see somebody.
I'll be with you in a moment.
Jonathan, dear, it's Mother.
I got the number of the Brentwood Drug Rehabilitation Center.
It's 555-4731.
Please call them, darling. Remember... It's your life.
This is Sasha.
I'm at "Bonawenture" Hotel. Call me there as soon as you can.
What the hell's goin'on in here?
What happened?
You're not gonna believe this. It's happening to me, and I don't believe it.
I'm listening.
After I left you in Paris, Sasha and I went to Berlin.
- I know. - Yeah. Then we went to East Berlin.
East Berlin? For what?
For this.
They don't sell film in West Berlin?
- We didn't buy it. We picked it up. - What's on it?
It's got some spy information or something. Whatever it is, it's real important.
- "Spy information?" - Sasha picked up the film.
She must've planted it on me, because I didn't know I had it until I got here.
These Russians have been following me from East Berlin...
The Russians did this?
- No, the C.I.A. did this. - The C.I.A. did this?
Yeah. I think Sasha's one of'em.
I went down to the C.I.A. Office,
and there she was sittin' in this room drinkin' coffee...
with the same guys that trashed this place.
I know't know, I hate to say it, but I knew something like this was gonna happen.
- Hello? - Jonathan?
Hi, Sasha.
Jonathan, you are okay? I was so worried about you.
Y... Worried about me? Wh-Why would you be worried about me?
- Did you get my message? - Yeah.
And you will come to hotel?
- No, I don't think so. - Jonathan, I have to see you.
Look Sasha, I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but we're gonna start using my rules.
Hold on.
You still a homeboy?
You still a white boy? Yeah. You're in a gang, you're in a gang for life.
You think the homeboys could do me a little favor?
Yeah.
There's a flower shop across the street from the Bonaventure.
- Be there in an hour. - Jonathan, I...
Hey, Sasha. If you wanna see Jonathan, go to Olvera Street, in front of the cross.
Olvera Street. That's three blocks.
Is your name Sasha? This is for you.
Are you "Shasa"?
Message for you.
- English. - El Mercado.
- Who's this asshole? - Get in.
Get in.
What's she doing?
All right. Move those cars. This is the C.I.A.
You've got no juice here, man.
Yeah, well, this is government juice, pachuco.
Show me your badges. We don't know nothing about no stinking badges.
Look, we're not playing games here, greaseball.
Neither are we, amigo.
- Jesus. - You son of a bitch.
Remember the Alamo?
Manolo, you are making mistake. Those men are on our side.
Our side. Their side. I don't know about that shit,
but I got a friend who's in trouble, and I'm on his side.
Whose side are you on?
He's by the sculpture garden near the statues.
He thinks he's in love with you. Be straight with him.
Hi.
Jonathan. You are okay?
Look, I know you're upset, but now I can explain everything.
Upset? You think I'm upset?
You drag me to East Berlin. A lady gets shot in my arms.
I'm getting chased by people who kill people. My parents think I'm a junkie.
And you're hanging out with the C.I.A. Why should I be upset?
- Jonathan, you do not understand. - No shit.
- Let me explain. - That's a good idea.
Why don't you tell me what's goin' on?
I tell you I was a courier.
- That's a lie. - I am operative. A agent.
- For the C.I.A.? I'm very impressed.
That's a good job.
Jonathan, I did not mean for you to carry that film.
That's lie number two. Don't let there be a third.
- No, I only wanted to use you for a cover. - Why? Because I look so stupid?
No, be... Innocent.
You look so innocent.
- Goddamn it, I'm telling you the truth. - No, you don't know what truth is.
Jonathan, I didn't want to use you.
Wait a second. What... What just happened to your accent? Huh?
Who the fuck are you?
Is there anything about you that isn't phony?
What's your name?
What's your real name?
Cheryl.
Cheryl. Cheryl what?
- Brewster. - Cheryl Brewster.
From Prague?
- Pittsburgh. - Pittsburgh.
Cheryl Brewster. The spy from Pittsburgh. That's good.
Oh, Jonathan.
I didn't even know what was on the film until we got to East Berlin.
Bullshit.
They never used me for anything so important.
They told me somebody was following me and...
and I would never make it across the border.
They told me I had to use you. I didn't have a choice.
Everybody has a choice.
I thought we had something really good goin',
I really thought you cared about me.
I did.
I do.
Shit!
- In here. - Where are we going?
They're on my turf now.
- What are you doing? - Tranquilizer gun.
Come on.
There's a phone at the bottom of the hill. Go call your friends.
Gotcha.
Aah!
Gotcha.
I'm at the bottom of the steps near the Student Union.
So nice to see you again.
Come on. Let's wait for your boyfriend.
Did you call 'em?
Jonathan, don't!
Put the gun down or I shoot the girl.
Put it down!
Now, where's the film?
- Thanks. - Gotcha.
Take it easy. I got it.
Thank you. The agency owes you one.
Great. I'll let you know when I need my apartment redecorated.
Hey.
- Can I talk to you? - What for?
This job's over. You can go on to the next one.
Is that the way you think I feel?
I don't know how you feel. All I know is I trusted you, and you set me up.
I'm sorry.
- Yeah. - No, I really am.
There's nothing to be sorry about.
I learned a lot from you. I should be grateful.
Grateful? I don't want you to be grateful.
What do you want?
- Right now? - Yeah.
You.
You don't want me. I'm not your type.
Not a "weer-gin." Not a little boy anymore.
I know.
Hi. How's your sweater?
Get lost, you creep.
"Get lost, you creep?"